you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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