thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
