He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
