just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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