Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
