was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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