do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
