if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
