I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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