There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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