eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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