He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
