woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
