If i could tip my vagina, i would.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
