walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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