So drunk, too bad you don't want this
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
