so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
