You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
