Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
