You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize