So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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