I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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