yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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