Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
my poor anus
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
