Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
