Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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