there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think people are normalizing furries
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
