Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They took my balls.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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