she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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