Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
