Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize