just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
