Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
