Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
