You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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