Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There r osticjed everywhere
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
