Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
