Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
