Where is the hickey?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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