He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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