I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The air taste purple.
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