wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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