I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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