also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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