During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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