your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Welp...herpes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
