I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
