I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
