I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
