Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
