also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize