he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
