I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
