i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
