Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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