Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
