VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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