bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
