ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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